What are they thinking?

I know that is exactly what are parents were thinking almost 19 years ago. I am thinking the same thing now days. Our son Joshua graduated!!! It was a big thing for us. It wasn't an easy task keeping this child interested in it. But he buckled down and did it.
You know as a parent you have dreams for your kids. Not all those dreams come true. I always pictured Josh going down a musical road or something that he would love like fixing up old motorcycles or cars. I'm not sure what he will end up doing with his life but I really hope he enjoys it.
Right now he has a girl friend who I'm not sure is the best for him. She has been with him for over a year, and there are days that I wonder WHY they are together. I know it's kind of rude, but he could do so much better. He needs someone who will challenge him to be the best he can not just sit around and let him do what ever he wants.
The biggest issue right now is that Josh has an e- cig. I just found out about it and had a talk with him that didn't go so well. I know he has struggled with things for a long time and he has been great giving all those things up. I just told him that I didn't like it, it's not good for him. He said" I'll give it to you until I move out." Which I said that's not the point. I don't want you to do it at all. It's not good for you. Later that evening his girl friend was over and he said " Hey babe my mom knows about the e-cig. Her reaction was " Well I'm not going to tell him No!" Right at that moment I wanted to slap her. Grow a back bone is what went through my mind.. My feeling changed for her. I had been struggling with her for a while, but right then I just felt that she wasn't the best for him, and I don't really want her around. For know I know that if I want to see Josh I need to deal with my feeling about her. So I will until one day I probably say something I shouldn't.
Josh and I did take them to lunch, and oh how I love him!! He just bluntly let her have it. He wasn't nice either. He was, in that he said what he did in a very calm voice, but his words said it all. He can tell you to go to hell in the nicest way.She took it ok. We want her to grow a back bone. Also on the other hand I let Josh have it Little Josh. I told him if he truly loved her than he wouldn't be doing stuff like that. He wouldn't see how far he could push her.
I know that the more I push for things they will go in the direction I don't want them to. I also know that even if he goes down this road he will learn sooner or later, but he has to do it on his own. He has to learn for himself. As a parent it is hard to sit by and watch your kids hurt themselves, but they aren't going to learn if you step in all the time.
As of  today, we have suggested that Josh start looking for a new job so he can move out asap. He just isn't being that great of an example to his siblings, and I have 3 other kids that he influences. He is a good kid, but it's time, he is 18. He is ready!
I still struggle with it. He is my baby, but I know that he wants to be out away from all the rules.I will always love and support him not matter what decisions he makes. He is my son. I will be there when he messes up, I will be there when his heart is broken, I will be there no matter what!