It has almost been 2 years!

I often wonder how personal I want to get on here, but then I remember that only people who love and know me read this. So
This August will have been 2 years since my marriage was almost destroyed. The first year wasn't easy at all. I put on a happy face, bucked it up and just tried to deal with life as it came at me. I didn't seek counseling, personally I don't think half of the counselors really understand. I know it wasn't the best idea but I just put everything behind me and just took one day at a time. I did what I knew Heavenly Father and Jesus would have done, which was to forgive. It really did make all the difference in the world to deal with it in a positive way instead of being hateful.
The beginning of this last year was rocky, and at times I just didn't know if our marriage was going to last. We were both just so different. It was like having to get to know someone all over again, at the same time they come with baggage. There were feelings of sadness, and betrayal, and making the other feel less than in our own way. The Devil couldn't have been happier. Moving didn't help the situation like we thought it would, in some ways it made it worse. I felt like my whole support was gone which were a few friends that had been there for me.
One evening I just exploded, I had had enough of feeling less than, and feeling like everything was my fault. I just let Josh have it. I was't happy after I had said everything that I did, but I was happy that finally I had let it out. He did need to hear how I felt, but not in the way that it happened. After that fight, things have been so much better.
We have settled in to our home. I still have my friends, who are there when I need them. It is nice to sit out on my deck or out front and not have to see this person drive by. Although I have forgiven them I still get sick to my stomach every time I see them.
Our relationship couldn't be stronger. I know people talk, and they wonder why someone stays with someone when they have been hurt so bad, and all I can say is you would have to walk in my shoes. You don't just walk away from 18 years with someone who you love. I know it's crazy but Josh and I were meant to be. I knew it the day that I met him. You don't just stop loving someone because they made a mistake, or because they have and addiction. Also you don't just up and leave and destroy a family.
My marriage is 100% better than it was 2 years ago. We both needed to change, and it took almost destroying us, and our family for both of us to see it.
Yes there are still times that it hurts. There are times one of us breaks down. But I believe those times just make us stronger.