Pitty Party

So yesterday I woke up with a bad migriane, even though I didn't feel good I still got up to greet all the babysitting clan(5). I was trying not to let it bother me, but after a couple of hours of listening to all the children bicker, and my own children fight I couldn't take it any more. My dear sweet husband had come home for lunch and took care of luch for all the kids. While I was laying on the couch there was a knock on the door. On of my dear sweet friends had stopped by to see how I was doing. She is so cute she came in and sat down and the bottom of the couch put my feet in her lap and started rubbing them. She stayed for about an hour. After she left, my head felt a little better,but I still didn't feel good,So I decide to put all the kids down for a nap except my oldest two,and lay down on the couch, to see if I could get it to go away for good. As I am laying there two things came to my mind. First what a great friend I had, most people would have been grossed out to touch someone else's feet, and yet it didn't bug her one bit. She has also been by my side when times were hard, and had total faith in me. She is someone I trust. I hope that I can be that kind of friend. Second I think to myself WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, IS IT REALLY WORTH IT??? Why do I feel so bad for little kids who come from split homes?, and why do I feel like I need to help them? But yesterday I realized that I can't help them all when it stresses me out and my kids suffer because mom is sick, or pissed off. I know that I do have less patients when I have a house full of babysitting kids. So I have made a decision that I am not taking anymore kids. Friday is one little girls last day, and I have told the other mom that it just isn't worth the money, and the time it takes from my children.I will have two left, and things should calm down. But NO MORE. It's not worth it. When I was struggling with people not paying me, I was talking to my hsuband, and he had been listening to Dr Laura. She had a lady call in about somewhat of the same situation. It's hard to see the kids go because you get so attached. But Dr. Laura said. It's not like you are going to have them till their 18. They are going to leave and go to pre-school, and school, and more than likley you will never see them again. So do what is best for you.
That is what I have decided to do.