Being a parent is hard! I wish they just had a book that told you exactly how to raise a child. And if you followed it your child would turn out Great!
Sunday we had a lesson on teaching your kids about morality. I was asked to teach primary so Josh and I were just going to do that. We weren't going to go to the marriage class. But the teacher really wanted us there. So she asked someone else to teach for me.
The thing is, is that I didn't really get anything out of the class, because you can teach your kids till you are blue in the face about morality, and drugs, and being Christ like, reading the Book of Mormon, paying tithing, praying, but when it comes down to it they still have their Free Agency .And I believe that when you rule with an Iron fist, unfortunately it works against you.
I believed that I had a great relationship with my son, we talked about everything. I was one of the most strict parents out there. We talked about all the above and more. Why we shouldn't do it and what happens when you do. He has exercised his free agency, and it feels like my heart is constantly breaking. We still talk, and in the end I find out what he is doing, and then my heart just cracks a little more.
I still see that cute little blonde hair brown eyed boy who stole my heart the day he was born. I had so many dreams for him.
I love this kid to death and have pulled out all the stops. I am trying to save him from himself, and pray every night that he understands why I am doing what I am, and that it doesn't make him hate me. I love him and no matter what happens I always will, that is what being a parent is all about.
When he turns 18 he tells me he is piercing his ears and getting a tattoo, and if that happens, I will still love him exactly the same way I do now. We all have to learn for ourselves that all that may look cool now, but when your 35 it isn't so cool any more.
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