Nightmares

So last night I had a dream about my parents divorce. I am 35 years old, they have been divorced for 32.5 years, and I am the one having the nightmares!! Is this right?
I guess you could say it really stresses me!! As of right now I am the only child who has a relationship with both parents. So it is a little stressful. But I think the thing that has brought this on is that my mom sent my brother Tom a letter. PJ is out of the picture right now and has been for 2 years. Tom called me and we chatted a little, and then my mom facebooked me and we chatted. All I can say is that girls are different than boys. I had a need for my mom in my life, and my brother doesn't.
Any ways my dream was so just weird. It had my Grandpa in it who has been dead for almost 9 years, and just the way I was treating him got me upset!! I would have never have treated him that way.
So in my dream my dad, mom, brother, me and some of my childhood Friends, and grandparents were all sitting in the room. I think this is because my mom wants to have a talk with my brother but in my dream we are all there. I have no clue as to why two of my old childhood Friends are there, we are all sitting around and no one wants to talk. It is hard enough having my mom in the same room as my dad and grandparents. So I just start talking and I just go off and when people try to talk I tell them to shut up. I go on to tell both sides of the story, with a few of my own opinions of what went on, and I tell them that I know that they haven't all been honest with me and that there were things left out or exaggerated and this is were my grandpa kind of gives off this rude attitude and I push him in his chair and tell him to sit down I am not finished, while I proceed to kind of grab and squeeze his cheeks, and tell him that I know he didn't treat my mom very good. I tell him that I saw the way that he treated PJ's first wife during their divorce and so I could Imagine how he treated my mom.
At this point I woke up with my heart wanting to pop out of my chest!! Why is this bugging me so bad.
We all know there are 2 sides to every story, and I feel like I have heard both and have come to my own conclusion and that is good enough for me.
I know my mom feels like we were taken from her, and I know she feels like she didn't leave, she felt like she didn't have a choice, and she was having a hard time dealing with everything going on and couldn't imagine what it was doing to the 3 of us,but try telling that to 3 little Babbie's. They aren't going to understand why you aren't there anymore. They don't understand why mommy never comes around.
I know it kills my dad that I have a relationship with my mom. He feels like it's a slap in the face to him. That he was there all those years, and now she is reaping the benefit of it.
The thing is, is that I know that Heavenly Father wouldn't steer me wrong. I know that 10 years ago when my relationship didn't work out with my mom, it was because of all the bad things I had heard about her. I didn't know her that well and I wasn't going to trust her with my boys. I wasn't letting her be the grandma she could. So I ended it. I took a about a 4 year break, then I started running into my mom at places around town, and my brother PJ had a relationship with my mom at the time. I thought it was weird so I prayed about it. The answer I got was that if I could trust my mom and forget about the past to go ahead and have a relationship with her, but If I couldn't then not to bother.
I have had a relationship with my mom for 6 years now, and it has been one of the best things for me and my family. We love my mom and Stan, and are grateful for the relationship that we have with them.
We are also blessed to have my Dad and Deanne in our lives. My kids love going over and spending time with them. We just live right around the corner. I dare say that my dad has a special place in his heart for my kids. We are his favorite, because we go and visit.
I love all of my family, and I don't love one more than the other, I don't care about the past, I am just looking forward to the future. I know it's hard, but I think it's the hardest on me.
All I can say about this, is that divorce sucks!!!