Touched

So today was fast and testimony meeting. Sometimes I dread the first Sunday, it seems like the same people get up and just ramble. But then I feel like I should smack myslef, because at least they get up.
Today one of the regualrs got up, and I said to my self OH GREAT!! But what he said touched me.
He had just found out that his brother had died. His brother died 2 years ago and he just found out about it 3 weeks ago. He went on to say how he will probably have the same expierence with his older brother too, because they just aren't close.
I felt so bad for him. It made me think about my family. Mainly my older brother P.J.is this how it's going to be for us. It has been about 18months since I have seen or talked to him.
It still is strange to me how he just dissapeared from his life, it's like he just became this new person with this new life, and no one not even old friends or coworkers and involved in his new life.
I hope some day he will understand why I did what I did, that he will understand that I didn't betray him, and that I was just carring about his little girls.
I know that our relationship will never be like it was, we were bestfriends, almost attached at the hip. So different I was quiet and kept things to myself, and he was loud and proud. But he always made me feel important. Sometimes I could have kicked him in the butt, because he was rude, but we all loved him.
When the day comes that he does come back I will welcome him back with open arms. I am sure I will have a few walls up,but family is all you've got in the end.