That is how I feel today!! 99.9% of the time I don't hold back on what I want to say, and then I have to deal with what ever comes next. How ever I held back and it turned out GREAT!!
For some reason it seems that even though I have been with my husband for 20 years, we still don't always know how to communicate. I know it's shocking!!
It seemed like all weekend we were just off, and Sunday everything just blew up. We both said SOME things, and then I just decided to go quiet. I was upset, I felt like I was on my own with raising my kids,when I ask for help I am ignored, and then I get told how I am doing it wrong. Well if you know me you know I don't take well to that. If you think you can do better go right a head. So any ways. I went to bed, and didn't say a word. When asked a question, I didn't reply. My feelings were hurt. In the morning same thing. But I knew I was getting my point across.
Because I wasn't saying anything.
I know very immature!! All morning I was kind of sad, and thinking to myself this isn't how I pictured my life!! Everyone thinks I have this perfect marriage, and I don't!! I was so negative, all I could think was if this is what 20 years brings me I am done!! I am tired of being the bad guy, and always having to get on the kids about chores. I was having a pity party.
I decided to get ready for the day, got showered, when I thought I heard my front door open and I heard footsteps up stairs. I kind of got sick to my stomach. No one should be home. I was in my closet getting some clothes when I felt these eyes starring at me. I turned around to see it was my husband. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he had taken the rest of the day off.
He says to me 'Lets climb back in bed and cuddle!!" :) Yeah right!! Was what I was thinking, but I did, and then he started talking to me. Saying that he was sorry, and that I had hurt his feelings about a week ago, and he was mad at me and didn't know how to tell me I had hurt
is feelings. I had hurt him because he knew what I had said was true, and it hurt. I was glad he finally could talk to me about it. I hope each time it gets easier for him.
I just hate when we aren't getting along, he is my everything and when he is mad at me I hate life.
The rest of the day was great!! We were back to being best Friends.
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2 comments:
I had a moment the other night with brennan where I thought "we have been married 10 years and we still get in this kind of argument." I don't think you ever have things figured out in marriage! But you will always WORK it out.
Thanks Tonee, I know it always does work out!!
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