I Honestly Wonder

You know it has almost been a year now that my brother and best friend decided that he wanted nothing to do with his family. Although I am still sad about that I think I am realizing that it's for the best.
But this last year has left me to wonder how 3 kids from the same parents could turn out so different. My sister Amanda, isn't from my parents so that I understand.
As a little girl I always wanted to be best friends with my brothers and step sister, and over time I realize that it's just me. Not the life that I thought. I think thats why I am the way I am with my kids. I want to grow up and be best friends, becasue it is sad being all alone, I guess I won't be so sad when they all die and I am left alone.
Any way the more I think about PJ, the more angry I get with him. I am amazed at how selfish he is, and how unhappy he is with himself, and the life that he is living. He is so unhappy that he trys to make Kims life HELL. He harrasses all the time abut taking her back to court, and getting the child support changed to less money.
What he doesn't realize is that his whole family is behing Kim. She has come such a long way alone. She is happy, has a good job, and has moved out on her own. She is doing so good, and he can't stand to see that.
He had a choice in bringing those girls into this world, the least he can do is support them, and stop complaining about the money.
You never realize how much someone holds you back until they are gone and you have the life you have always wanted. I am so proud of her.
Is it wrong of me to feel this way. So many things have come out, and for once in his life he can't hide behind anyone. He has to deal with all the crap that he has done and tried to run away from.
It was hard for me to have him gone out of my life,I think I cried on and off for a whole month,and I am not sure how I will act when or if he tries to come back. I love him, and he is my brother, and I know I will forgive him, but things will never be the same.
It is so frustrating to see how immature a 35 year old can act!! I am so tired of it, and I feel bad for Kim that she still has to deal with him.