Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Break Down

So last week I had a break down. I was in such a bad mood, and poor Josh got it.
Why? Thats the part that is frustrating. My body is being weird, and I am sick of it. Second of all for 14.5 years my life has been being a mom all day. I have had a child home with me up until last year. Last year I got a part time job that I loved because of the people that I got to meet and talk to.The minute I started working, I started having problems with my son at school. I would get a phone call a couple days a week. I worked for 6 months, and quit after Christmas.
I hate being home alone all day. It is very lonely. I think that is one of the reasons I want to have more kids. To have someone to play with all day, everyday for 6 more years. Then maybe I will like being home alone all day.
I have friends, but don't do much with them. Most are busy with their own day to day lives. Every once in a while we hang out and have a great time.
I just need to start being brave, and donig things that I want to do. Pick my crafts again!!

3 comments:

jon and em said...

heid, you express perfectly what i've felt since trying to start our family. my prayers for the last couple of years have been to help me get excited about other things, and heavenly father really has helped me to fill my life with other people to love, and really great things to do. also, i started working in the temple and that has been one of the coolest experiences of my life...just a thought!

we said...

yeah, i agree with emily when i feel lonely and aggitated i go to the temple. i call it my weekly therapy session, because well, it is just that. a place where God can show us great things, where we can literally escape the world and be at peace feeling the love of our Savior. if you ever need someone to go with i go on tuesdays and thursdays during the day!

we said...

p.s. don't you hate it when you take your aggresion out on the one you love the most??? i hate that. i'm trying to work on that one.