Gosh! it is already sunday. This weekend went so fast. It seems like everyone is getting the cold Mary and I had. It is a nasty little cold. I still have the cough and it's been a week. Today we stayed home from churc hoping that everyone will get feeling better.
I also talked to my mother in law today. She had some great advice. We were just talking about life. And how she thought that some times we don't forgive ourselves for things that we have repented of. She said to me. Do you feel like God has forgiven you? I said Yes, She said then why not forgive yourself? I just feel that for me it's hard to forget. And so how can I forgive myself when I can't forget? Anyone have any advice on that? I feel like I have come a long way in 12 years. And I know that God is pleased with the things I am doing. It's the mind. It does bad things. I am pleased with my life. I know it started out a little ruff, but it has made me who I am. I think it has also helped me with my kids. I am very open with them and how things can screw your life up. Things seem fun when your doing them, but in the end you really never know what will come of it. So they need to always think before they act. I never thought I would have a kid at 18 and then another one at 19. But thoes were things I hadn't thought about very well.
This year I turn 31, and the stress that I have been under for about 8 months has affected my body big time. It feels like I turned 30 and have gone down hill. I am grateful for my kids. I know that because I need to take care of them, it keeps me going. If I didn't have them I would sleep all day and be depressed.
Talk about feeling old. My oldest will be going to junior high. He is a great kid. He has a good head on his shoulders. I know that I am hard on him and I expect a lot of him. I also know that he knows that I love him, and that I will always be there for him.I love that he still hugs me in front of his friends. I also love that He is always honest with me. I want all my kids to feel that way.
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4 comments:
i don't know Heidi. you know i come from a pretty difficult past myself and all I can say is that you have to just look forward and do less and less of looking back. soon you'll believe in the "new you". would you believe that i felt shocked that everyone was voting for the pic that showed me laughing? i just still have such a hard time seeing myself that way - i'm so used to being depressed even if for a long time now i've felt happy nearly 90% of the time. you just have to pretend until you believe.
Forgiving ones self...or shall we say forgetting. I think it is beautiful the Christ will forget our mistakes when we have repentented. I know there are many who hold on to those memories and that is a normal thing. It is so important however to not dwell on them and if the memory pops into your mind, don't give it a place. Replace it with other memories, good memories, your wonderful accomplishments. Push it away and it will pop in less and less often.
Heidi, I totally understand what you mean about the whole forgiven thing. I know you are forgiven, you are an amazing woman, mom , and friend. I think we don't forget completely because then we would probably make the same or similiar mistakes again. Plus we would not be who we are today if we had not gone through our trials and we need to be able to remember some of that to be who we are and be strong.
Thanks gals, you gals are awsome. Hey just to let you know, there is a virus out there and it took my hard drive out. so if you get a comment that says attention! do not open it.
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